Review of Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina

I first heard of Steve Pavlina when a friend referred me to his blog during his polyphasic sleep experiment. For over 150 days, Steve abandoned sleeping nights, and instead took six, twenty minute naps a day. I was immediately intrigued. And the more of his writing I read, the more I liked the message.

There are hundreds of articles on his website, all about how to grow as a person. His approach is an intriguing mix of hippie, mainstream American, and strait-up crazy person, and from my perspective, the best of each. His thinking and writing is decidedly left-brained, and he doesn’t shy away from financial or career growth issues. At the same time he eats a 100% raw-vegan diet and talks with dead people.

From no other author have I found such accessible, intelligent, practicable personal development advice, and rarely such a warm and inviting tone. So when Steve announced he was publishing a book and would offer free advance copies to bloggers who would review it, I immediatly wanted to participate. That was the original impetus to start and grow this blog, and this review is the result.

The aims of the book - Personal Development for Smart People: The Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth - are ambitious on at least two counts:

1. To be sufficiently different from and superior to the hundreds of articles on his website to satisfy his massive readership (he claims two million visitors a month).


2. To lay out the fundamental principles of personal development.

The book is highly structured, and will probably work better for "thinkers" than for "feelers" on the MTBI T/F spectrum, which may be what Steve alludes to with his tag line “Personal Development for Smart People.”

The book is divided in two parts. The first is the seven fundamental principles of personal growth. Truth, love and power are the three primary principles. From those are derived oneness (truth + love), courage (love + power), and authority (power + truth). And the seventh is intelligence, which is defined as alignment with truth, love and power, and is the "highest form of human expression." Here’s a graphical representation:

I’m not convinced that these principles represent any sort of underlying order to personal growth, mostly because I'm unconvinced there is any such order. The three primary principles seem right to me, but the secondary ones feel forced. I’m not sure, for example, that courage is a combination of love and power. In the section on how to build courage, one of the suggestions is to educate yourself, which I agree is a great way to overcome timidity, but seems to come from the primary principle of truth, not love or power. I can also think of no compelling reason why personal growth should rest on such a neat foundation.

As a tool though, a way of thinking about and planning growth and handling life’s problems, I think this scaffolding will be valuable. Perhaps it is the neatest possible representation of an inherantly complex, chaotic pursuit.

Each of the seven principles is broken down into its key components. Truth, for example, breaks down to perception, prediction, accuracy, acceptance, and self-awareness. Each component is explained and described, and sometimes a how-to improve this component is given. On prediction, for example, he says, we grow from exposure to new patterns: when our expectations are met it reinforces our beliefs; when they are not, it forces us to build new ideas about how the world works. Thus we should seek stability and routine only as a launching pad for exploring new areas. In order to side-step denial we can bring the process into the conscious part of the mind by making conscious predictions and comparing our expectations to how reality turns out to operate. He also says that emotions are predictions: when we have negative expectations we feel bad and when we have positive expectations, we feel good. That’s just one component of one of the seven fundamental principles. I wanted to detail it to illustrate the depths the book reaches.

For each principle, he also lays out some common blocks to alignment with the principle. For truth, for example: media conditioning, social conditioning, false beliefs, emotional interference, addictions, immaturity, and secondary gain. And each block is described and explained with similar detail. As I read these, many of the obstacles to growth that I face, some of which I've been struggling for years to elucidate, become immediately clear.

Finally, for each principle, he provides several techniques for coming into better alignment. For truth, he suggests a quantitative self-evaluation in various aspects of life (the process is described in detail), journaling on a regular basis, and forgoing all media, at least for a trial period of time.

In the intelligence chapter, there are extensive quizzes and evaluative material to determine where and how you can best serve your personal growth.

The second part of the book details six primary areas of life: habits, career, money, health, relationships, and spirituality. Suggestions are offered for how to improve congruency in each area with each of the seven principles. If that sounds overwhelming, it reads as detailed and useful.

For example, in the section on habits and oneness, there is a discussion of how our habits influence others and how we might be role models to the world with them, and also how we can use habits to develop congruency with the principle of oneness, like going for long walks in nature, smiling at strangers on the street, or offering hugs instead of handshakes.

I thought there was more value in the first part of the book, and it was more fun to read than the second. When I return to the book to do the exercises suggested — which I will begin this weekend — I plan to spend more time in the first section. On the other hand, if I ever feel in need of help in a certain area of life, the organization of the second section would be of great value.

In sum, this is an excellent book and one that I will use for years to come. I fully recommend it to everyone, and especially those who prefer a rational/logical approach to complex issues (which can be hard to find in the “self help” section of a bookstore). I’m not sure that it succeeds in its most ambitious task, but it is still immensely valuable, even to someone who has read almost all of Steve Pavlina’s website.

9/10 stars.

Synchronicity

One time a few years ago, my sister and I were doing the six hour drive from our parents' house in Denver to our college town, Durango. On this beautiful drive over and through the Colorado Rocky Mountains, you make one turn and stop at one stop sign, other than that, it's just keep driving southwest.

We had been driving for hours, listening to music and chatting it up as we always did about the meaning of life, or our lives or something, when our conversation slowly came to a natural stop, the album we were listening to ended, and we drove up to the single stop sign on the drive. Did a higher power intend those three things to happen at once? Was it just a coincidence, and I remember that time because it was anomalous? Did our subconsciouses notice that the song and car were slowing, causing us to slow and close our conversation?

I like when timings coincide. When after minutes of silence, two people suddenly start talking at the same time. When you can't make dinner without an onion you don't have, and then your partner comes home after stopping at the store for bread and got onions, just because they were on sale.

This seems like one of those times. Yesterday, after two months of begging for it, Melanie and I moved to Dogye, the town in which we teach. The day before that, after two and a half months of pleading for it, a Dell technician brought me a new, fully functional hard drive. And today, winter arrived in earnest in the Taebaek Mountains. So I today I have a new season, with a new home and a new computer system.

The impetus for me to start building this blog was an offer for an advance copy of a book on the condition that I review it, a review which I will post in a few hours. After that, I plan to change the focus and rhythm of this blog, and start putting more effort into two other websites I'm building. Next Wednesday, after the election, I'm starting a media fast, to free my mind from the information inundation I've been forcing upon it, and free-up a couple of hours a day, to put into yoga, guitar, and the above mentioned website building.

So things are changing, lots of things at once. And it feels great. More on the move, the book, and my various websites to come...

Wait... No... Not Quite Moving Day Yet

It seems I blogged a bit too soon when I said that today was moving day.

My mistake was a common one for westerners in Korea. I assumed that plans in Korea are similar to commitments as we make them at home. That, of course, is silly. Decisions in Korea seem to be made hours, if not minutes, before important actions. Discussions and negotiations seem to be replaced by directives from above. Logic and responsibility are thrown out the window. And loud, raucous discussion is needed to sort anything that is even a hair's width outside of standard operating procedure.

Two hours before the moving was scheduled to begin we were informed that the school staff that we had been told would be helping us "with our burdens" was saying it wasn't their responsibility. That and because of the size of the refrigerator and the absence of an elevator in our new building, we would need to rent a large truck that could move the refrigerator through the large windows that are on the side of all Korean apartments. And that to operate the truck, we would need to hire two movers. So the cost will actually be 250,000 won ($173).

Following our insistance that the payment wasn't our responsibility, there was a tremendous amount of discussion, some with us, a lot without us, and finally we were told that we'd actually be moving tomorrow morning. That #4 will come to our apartment at 9:00 and that the question of cost will be settled later.

Will there be new surprises in the 18 hours before we move? It would be quite out of the mold if there weren't...

Moving Day

After two months of expressing our desire to move closer to our school - to our school's administration, to the Samcheok County Education Office, to the Gangwondo EPIK Office, and finally to the head of education in Gangwondo - it's time to move from our old apartment in the 60,000 person seaside town of Samcheok to our new apartment in the 4,000 person mountain town of Dogye.

Last week we saw the apartment, which is roughly half the size and twice as old as the one we live in now. But instead of leaving at 7:40 to take an expensive, nauseating bus ride to get to school, we'll leave at 8:45 and walk down the street, and no amount of space can make up for that.

They keep telling us that the roads are going to be icy and they hope we won't hurt ourselves, and that the boiler has to stay on all the time or it will freeze and explode, and that if we are uncomfortable, they can't help us move again. Apparently, we are yet to convince them that we understand and made our decision conscoiusly. I don't think we've told them that we have both lived through Colorado winters in towns over 8,000 feet; maybe that would've helped. But after another round of what-you-might-not-like, and us agreeing to pay 70,000 won (US$48) for the move (they originally said we'd have to pay 600,000!), they expressed their satisfaction with us at their school, and we all left happy.

Monday we were told that Wednesday was moving day (I had assumed Sunday, so Wednesday is just fine with me), and yesterday we were taken to HomePlus, the local department store, to outfit our new kitchen (no more Teflon and aluminum cookware - yeah!).

Last night we frantically packed all our belongings back into the two suitcases each we brought them here in, plus a couple boxes for what we've already accumulated here. After our classes this morning (and a Dell technician coming to replace my hard drive -- busy day of many transitions), we figure the biggest men at the school will come help us get all our stuff and all the furniture 40km up the mountains to Dogye. How that will happen in a "big rental car" is so far unclear, but we just have to keep trusting and hoping that everything will work out. Speaking of which...

In our meeting on Monday, they asked if were going home for winter break (our contracts stipulate a three week vacation, which was the primary factor in choosing these positions). When I said we wanted to meet my family somewhere, they responded that right now is not a good time for booking travel (with the won's weakness there isn't a good time), but that they would tell us the dates soon, once they decided if "English Camp" would be one or three weeks. Yesterday they said it was to be one week. Which might mean that the other five weeks of vacation time are ours to be in a more hospitable place. It's too early to say for sure yet, but if true, that would more than make up for the trouble we've had so far.

Attacks in Syria, Pakistan

Yesterday the U.S. killed eight people in Syria, just across the border from Iraq. Late last week, using an unpiloted plane, the U.S. killed at least eight children in Pakistan. And again yesterday, in another attack using an unpiloted plane, the U.S. killed ten people in Pakistan, at least in this one it was a militant training camp.

Eight days before the election, and the U.S. has committed what are generally considered acts of war against Pakistan and Syria. The attack in Syria was a first, and we don't know how they might respond. The attacks in Pakistan continue a sharply increasing trend, which has intensified since last week when the Pakistani Parliment unanimously passed a resolution calling on the government to "defend its sovereignty and expel foreign fighters from the region."

First of all, what are they doing attacking a school!? I don't care if it was Al Qaeda Middle School, they were children. How can people claim with a strait face that the U.S. is the primary force for good in the world? They targeted a school.

Secondly, right in lead up to the election, we're pissing off two countries that are most dangerous (Pakistan has nukes, Syria is supposedly armed by Iran), most volatile, and both of which have land disputes with critical allies of ours (Syria with Israel over the Golan Heights, Pakistan with India over Kashmir). A flare up of either of those, directly with the United States, or with our allies would be great for McCain in the election.

So why wouldn't we think that the Republicans controlling the executive are politically motivated in these actions? They've proven the moral laxness to do just about anything for political reasons time and again. Why not killing brown-skinned children?

Hopefully Syria and Pakistan, who like the rest of the world (save Al Qaeda) have an Obama presidency in the best interests, see through the tactics and restrain themselves.

***edit***
Yesterday (the 28th) Ali al-Dabbagh, the Iraqi Government Spokesman, reminded the U.S. that the Iraqi constitution disallows Iraqi land being used as a launching area for attacks on neighboring countries.

It's a tired point by now, but bares repeating: U.S. leaders talk about democracy promotion, but ignore the will of people when it doesn't serve us, as here with Iraq's constitution and a couple years ago with Hamas in Palestine.

Apartment Sutation Update

When we got to Gangwon-do, we were placed in an apartment in Samcheok, about 40km from our school in Dogye. Samcheok has a population of over 50k (whereas I would guess Dogye is between 5k - 10k) and feels much more cosmopolitan, and less poor, than Dogye. It's a nice apartment, and I'm sure the administration had our best interests in mind when they chose it, but leaving at 7:40 every morning for a 4,000won bus ride to get to school at 9 just isn't what we had in mind.

So we asked the school what they could do. They said nothing. There are no apartments in Dogye, and besides it's: cold in the winter, no locks on the doors, heating is with oil and is expensive, there's too much poverty, and no cultural activities like Homeplus (the k-mart of Korea). We insisted it was where we wanted to be and after they came back to us and said that it was impossible, we started going up the chain of command asking what could be done. When we had gotten to the Director of Education for the province, we were told, at 4:55 on a Friday afternoon, that there were two places in Dogye that we could see next week. That was last Friday.

On Monday, we were taken to see one apartment that was about half the size of the one we're currently living in, and older, but fine. But it was the apartment of a mother of a student who had no plans to move. So what was available? We asked, through Kim Sun (a 24 year old female teacher who is supposed to be our translator and advocate in dealing with the bureaucracy that is numbers 1, 2, 3 & 4 at the school, all 50+ men in suits) and were repeatedly brushed off with answers like, if you say you like it, we'll contract an apartment.

We were also taken to see a "house" for which the front door entered into the bathroom. Walking strait from the front door, you entered an 8' by 10' room with a light bulb dangling from the ceiling, continuing strait you walk into the third room, 8' by 8' with crooked floors and mold growing through the wallpaper. No kitchen to be seen. So we said no to the house.

Then yesterday, on my way out of a class I was told by four different teachers to go to the teachers' room. When I got there a group of six people were talking about us (this happens a lot, we hear our names, but aren't looked at our attempted to communicate with), and eventually we got a "let's go." So we drove (up a hill that couldn't have been less than 10% and might have been pushing 15%) to an apartment that was also small, but fine. Nicer than the one we had seen the other day, with amazing views. Dogye is high up in the Taebaek Mountain Range, and we're going to be living high up in Dogye.

The apartment is surrounded by wild mountains, has massive windows and sunflowers painted on the wall by the entrance. It's small, but it's clean and feels good. And it's heated by gas, which will avert $400/month heating costs in the winter. And there's a lock on the door. ;)

So we left the apartment feeling great and were dropped off at school, at which point two admin went with the realtor, we could only assume to sign papers. Then in my next class, with Kim Sun, I was told that we could move anytime we wanted next week, and we will have to pay the moving costs. How much? About 600,000 won (~$450). At this I became visibly upset, the first time that's happened so far. I think I probably spoke too fast and hurt Kim Sun's head, but by that afternoon we were told that it had been taken care of and we wouldn't have to pay. You can't blame them for trying. Wait, yes, you can, and I do.

So we're almost done with this drama. The next task will be explaining that we can't possibly take all this furniture to that little apartment. The huge TV that's currently in a closet here can't come with us... I hope they have somewhere to take it. I had thought of asking for a travel reimbursement for the two months we did this crazy commute, but at this point I think I'll just settle for it being done.

Today is pay day #2. Both of our paychecks had errors last month... we'll see if that's been taken care of now, or if we'll have to beat our heads against the bureaucracy for that too. Either way, the won is trading at 1,400 to the dollar, fully a third less than when we decided to come here, and it's time for me to make a transfer to dollars. Yikes.

Voting from South Korea

A couple of days ago, I sent in my absentee ballot - which I think ought to be renamed... can you think of one positive or even neutral phrase with the word absentee in it? All day after I mailed it, I had a Paul Simon line running through my head: "I registered to vote today, felt like fool."

It was expensive to vote from Korea. 16,500 won (US$11.60 today, because the won has been getting beaten on for a while now) for each of two mailings, but at least they could be split with Melanie and mailed together.

The Boulder County Clerks Office was on it. They answered our questions by email, helped with foreign addressing, and we can check if our votes have been counted online.

The whole transaction took a little over a month, with us shelling out for 3 - 4 day mailings each time. Because of an earliest date for requesting ballots, it's unclear whether we could have used surface mail. But at least we have a reliable public postal system here. In less developed countries, folks have to pay up for a private courier each time, which would get very expensive. I stumbled upon a suggestion to use the army's mailing system for all official election correspondence - seems like a good idea to me.

To the actual voting. I think my subconscious was calling me a fool because I voted strait down the party line. I like to think of myself as a critical thinking, independent, well-informed citizen. And in this, my most important civic duty, I could have just copied off the Boulder County Dem's cheat sheet.

I'm not at all embarrassed to have voted for Barrack Obama. I was a little bit with Kerry in '04, and I stand by my Nader vote (in Colorado) in 2000. As Noam Chomsky notes, despite the cliche, voting for the lesser of two evils is in fact voting for less evil, and the decision to do that should be balanced against the potential benefits of voting for a third-party candidate.

I am a little embarrassed to have voted for Mark Udall for the Senate. He's a Democrat that has been representing my congressional district for almost a decade. The Colorado 2nd is one of the most liberal districts in the country, and I would have liked to have seen more fierce advocacy on the environmental front and the stand-up-to-President-Bush front. But, I'd love to see the Democrats achieve a filibuster-proof majority (60-40) and push some real legislation through. I think there is some real chance for reform in the coming terms. And I'm not sure the legislative branch is the place for third party support - it seems a third party executive would be much more powerful.

On the amendments, I struggle with affirmative action and so was tempted to vote yes on amendment 46. I think it's the wrong way to right historical and contemporary racism. But it doesn't need to be banned in the constitution. And what really got me is this argument: we all know that many jobs are gotten by networking - who you know, rather than what you know. That tact doesn't work for someone with poor parents, who is striving to enter a new societal stratification. Affirmative action works to counter-act the old-(white)-boys club that clearly still dominates the sphere of power in the United States.

I wanted to vote for amendment 50, not so much on any ideology, but that I still play a bit of poker, and poker with $5 bet limits is a little like fat-free ice cream. But I find deplorable the political maneuvering that led to the increased revenues from increased betting limits going to community colleges (they should be funded, massively, but strait-away, not through this obvious political scheme). Highway 6, a two lane road up one of the most beautiful canyons I've even seen has become an accident magnet, and the new highway built to connect I-70 to the casino towns is a scar a top otherwise pristine mountains, save the new suburban-style subdivisions built there in the middle of nowhere. And as much as I'd like to be able to play real poker an 45 minutes from Boulder, it's just not worth having Atlantic City 45 minutes from my home.

Finally, my favorite amendment, 53 - criminal liability of executives for the actions of corporations - was withdrawn in order to get a group of influential business-owners to oppose an anti-union amendment elsewhere on the ballot. I nevertheless shaded in the yes box and quietly dreamed of a day when business will have no more power, no more wiggle room, and no less culpability than do us sentient beings.